There’s foreplay and there’s foreplay, dahrlings. Or as JME used to call it ‘avant jouir’. In a Frenchman’s hands, it all spells O. But back to the other kind of fore. The kind that lasts so long you get a…
The latest drum beat in the travel jungle is that Sunwing airlines’ fearless big game hunter is tracking a buyer, dahrlings. You’re probably letting your imagination go with this one, Pumpkins … picturing a tattered loincloth, pointy spear, flexy muscles…
I’m thinking of revamping my venerable, centuries old aristocratic family name, Pumpkins. Considering I’m beyond dumbstruck, I’m changing Gabbalot to Huh?. (WTF was taken). Besides, there’s that homage to Prince with Huh? – inserting a symbol is just tingly. So…
The travel snatchers have invaded, Pumpkins, pointing and screeching for the federal and provincial armies to shame me for flying. If I weren’t so outraged, dahrlings, I might actually be scared. Neighbours are turning against neighbours. Mine put a ‘travel…
Dahrlings, our favourite game show is back! As we all know, travel is a dangerous game. Leaving airline carcasses and commissionless agents in its wake as the rest of us masochists ask the mistress for more. Then came COVID. The devastation is…
Excuse me, dahrlings, but… I’ve been a serially married white female for as long as I can remember, Pumpkins. I started young, what can I say. Strictly speaking, my skin is more of an oatmeal beige. Not a colour I…
Dear Fellow Zoomerati, In the name of god in heaven, please stop! Ok, now that I’ve got that off my chest, it’s been an absolute donkey’s age since we’ve nominated anyone for a coveted Open Jaw Insert Foot Award! And I…
Let’s face it, dahrlings, who is the most important person in your life, besides your neighbourhood organic, fair trade, bud supplier? Who is the one you tell your deepest secrets to? Share your longings with? Divulge your vulnerabilities to? (Yes,…
10 years ago someone had the brilliant idea of celebrating you! As you know, I’ll take any excuse for a party. But goodness, if anyone deserves recognition it’s folks who have the cojones to send people jetting around the world,…
Dahrling Pumpkins, I am thrilled to bitsies to know that I win!! I win!! The most beloved source of nonsensical sexual travel innuendo (it’s a category I made up all by myself) is….. MOI!!!! And trust me, dahrlings, the research…