February 01, 2021
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

I Vanna Gab A Lot

I’m thinking of revamping my venerable, centuries old aristocratic family name, Pumpkins. Considering I’m beyond dumbstruck, I’m changing Gabbalot to…

January 04, 2021
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

I’m A Travel Pariah

The travel snatchers have invaded, Pumpkins, pointing and screeching for the federal and provincial armies to shame me for flying.…

August 08, 2020
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

I’m Beige

Excuse me, dahrlings, but… I’ve been a serially married white female for as long as I can remember, Pumpkins. I…

July 22, 2020
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

From WE To ME

Dear Fellow Zoomerati, In the name of god in heaven, please stop! Ok, now that I’ve got that off my…

May 25, 2020
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

It’s All About The Hair

Let’s face it, dahrlings, who is the most important person in your life, besides your neighbourhood organic, fair trade, bud…

May 06, 2020
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

DON’T BE SAD! IT’S TAD!!

10 years ago someone had the brilliant idea of celebrating you! As you know, I’ll take any excuse for a…

April 08, 2020
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Pastels! Who Needs’em?

Dahrlings, if there’s one thing in the entire world that makes me gag even more than say, kale, it’s pastels.…

April 01, 2020
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

It’s Been One Of Those Mornings!

Whew, Pumpkins! That was some dream I had. It’s almost too horrific to share. But here goes… I dreamt the…