Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

It’s About Time The Feds Stopped Sniffing Their Gorgonzola

There’s foreplay and there’s foreplay, dahrlings. Or as JME used to call it ‘avant jouir’. In a Frenchman’s hands, it all spells orgasm.

But back to the other kind of fore. The kind that lasts so long you get a cramp in your take-off position  – and you just want to scream “Hurry up! Reruns of The Pit and the Pendulum are starting tonight!”

Well that’s the immoral of tonight’s bed time story, dear dahrlings.

Canada’s competition bureau, after deliberating for longer than it takes to get delivery of a vaccine, has, thank you dear lord, reached a decision on whether Air Canada can buy Transat. Word is, somebody had better.

So, as much as I dislike the colour purple (red and blue, keep up) it’s a blessing they’ve approved it, Pumpkins.

Was there really ever another choice?

My first husband was a cranky old Dutchman (aren’t they all) who said it best: “ Zo traag als dikke stront door een dunne trechter.

What is there to say to that?

And now it’s on to the Europeans to approve the transaction. Hopefully they don’t speak Dutch…

Needless to say, WestJet is in a lather about decreased competition, dragging out that old chestnut that the preyed up canadian populace will have less choice and higher fares.

This pains Ed Sims, dahrlings. Gets him right in the bottom line.

AC will soon loom over Canada’s capacity like the Michelin man exposing his winter grip with a couple of overblown steel-belted alloy rimmed lug nuts.

But not to worry, Ed. Airlines pop up in Canada like mushrooms after a good soak. Which they inevitably do, dahrlings – get soaked.

Ed, dahrling, just get Gerry to buy WG and we’ll all be even Stephen. Didn’t Gerry start out in the car parts business? I bet Onex’ muscle could deflate Michelin man’s excitement like a badly blown party balloon.

Party? That’s what we need, Pumpkins! A wild old fashioned affair. Goodness it’s been a donkey’s age since I clinked a bubbly flute…

Ivanna Gabbalot


Part legend, part myth, all woman: Ivanna Gabbalot is OJ’s gossip columnist and considers herself the industry’s conscience. Equally annoying to Open Jaw management and inflated egos in C-suites everywhere, Ivanna works infrequently, preferring to snipe from the sidelines.

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