Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

I Vanna Gab A Lot

I’m thinking of revamping my venerable, centuries old aristocratic family name, Pumpkins.

Considering I’m beyond dumbstruck, I’m changing Gabbalot to Huh?. (WTF was taken). Besides, there’s that homage to Prince with Huh? – inserting a symbol is just tingly.

So many things I’d like to insert, in so many places, dahrlings, it’s hard to keep track.

Something hard and spiky up Justin’s powder puffed posterior, comes to mind.

No doubt most of you are already sharpening your stilettos, so I’ll leave that in your capable hands.

Point is, shutting down an entire industry sans préavis (you’re not the only one who can juggle languages Mr Fancy Hair) is absolutely unconscionable!

…he does have nice hair though…Looks soft too.. Probably smells nice.

Uh.. what? It’s ok. I’m ok.

So, ya, I get it, a deadly worldwide virus with no cure is not the government’s fault. But holy forward thinking, brat man, we knew this wasn’t your basic STD a year ago!

Talk about a flaccid grip on the issue.

“We’ll do this! No, wait, this is better. No, no, half of the first and a bit of the second solution. Hmm…that’s not doing it. We’ll shut it down! Ya, that’s it, shut it down.”

“The airlines, travel agents, tour operators, crew, caterers, airports, resorts, mechanics, res agents, limos and taxis, managers and middle managers, advertising departments, trade media, concession stands … they’ll manage.”

“After all, advisors are used to working for free. Ha! Funny one, eh, Chrystia? BTW what’s with that spelling, Freeland. Really screws with my orthograph check.”

Dear dahrlings, we’ve been through a lot together over the years, haven’t we. But this really takes my cake.

Ivanna Huh? signing off

Ivanna Gabbalot

Columnist

Part legend, part myth, all woman: Ivanna Gabbalot is OJ’s gossip columnist and considers herself the industry’s conscience. Equally annoying to Open Jaw management and inflated egos in C-suites everywhere, Ivanna works infrequently, preferring to snipe from the sidelines.

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