Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

It’s All About The Hair

Let’s face it, dahrlings, who is the most important person in your life, besides your neighbourhood organic, fair trade, bud supplier?

Who is the one you tell your deepest secrets to? Share your longings with? Divulge your vulnerabilities to? (Yes, ok, I do that with pretty much anyone who will listen, but let’s try and stay on point here.)

You know exactly who I’m talking about, Pumpkins. Is there a hair dresser on the planet who hasn’t been privy to intimate details of not only their client’s follicular affectations, but the kink in their bangs and bedrooms?

What with being denied access to salons, women across the industry are zooming coiffing tips as roots grow beyond the point of civility and shoulder length takes a whole new meaning whence once was a neat bob. (Not to mention what I’m finding in the drain... DIY is greatly overrated in that particularly sensitive grooming deprivement.)

From what I’ve observed, Pumpkins, the issue looms over our ratty heads almost as large as refund refusals. It’s a basic human need, dahrlings, like food. And vodka.

So next time some ninny sounds off at you about wanting their money back, tell them to get a hair cut! Ha! Take that you covidiot.

Over in Ottawa, our Prime Minister looks like he’s auditioning for a part in Hair. The whole ‘I’m one with the people by eschewing a good shaping’ is getting a bit obvious, dahrling.

Although like the many capillarily challenged men glued to shaggy’s daily TV appearances, I admit I enjoy watching the unruly mane billow in the wind... a little sprig gently falling across his furrowed brow, where the weight of the country also rests. I could run my hands up and down that thick mass... perhaps adding a little foamy mousse .... did I digress?

Point is, boy wonder says he’ll look into the matter of your client’s money which is being held in trust by the airlines. The root of the problem is not so much the fare, Pumpkins, but the commission. It’s an accounting dreadlock. It would take an army of AC CAs to unravel those knots.

Ivanna Gabbalot


Part legend, part myth, all woman: Ivanna Gabbalot is OJ’s gossip columnist and considers herself the industry’s conscience. Equally annoying to Open Jaw management and inflated egos in C-suites everywhere, Ivanna works infrequently, preferring to snipe from the sidelines.

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