Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Security Face Off

Baird has declared everyone has to show face – not show faith – before boarding a plane. Sort of no point in showing your picture otherwise, don’t you think?

I have nothing against people covering themselves up from head to toe, Pumpkins. In fact, I know plenty who should. But I’m thinking it’s probably a good thing to be certain that the person assigned to seat 32B is in fact…that person. Like. Otherwise, it could be anybody. Come to think of it, makes it really tricky to hook up, doesn’t it? “I’ll be wearing a brown suit with an amber brooch” becomes “Look for the off-black burka.”

I once wore a paper bag over my head as a sign of faith. My 2nd husband Stan, bless his soul, wouldn’t pay for a brow lift, so I withheld all visual gratification until he gave in. But my plan backfired. It was shortly after my flotation series breast implants and he apparently didn’t mind the bag. Said he could tell it was me just fine. Honestly.

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