Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Let’s Blow Things Into Proportion

I admire those plucky soccer fans, Pumpkins. No apologies or pussy-footing in this game. And frankly, that’s the only way to be when you’re blowing your vulvazela till kingdom come. They have no mind to pay lip service to piqued FIFA authorities who are getting their scrotazelas squeezed over the practice.

Personally, I think it balances this entirely male, muscle bound, sweaty, testosterone-fuelled sport out nicely with some female softness. I’m all for it! Ladies! Free your vulvazelas!

And speaking of playing with yourself, WestJet has dropped all fares by 25% to “reduce volatility”. Whose volatility are they are referring to? My accountant hates it when my “proceeds” are way up one month, and at the bottom of the discount bin the next. Says it makes for a bumpy cash flow. I suppose this way WestJet can even things out a bit, right? And, let’s face it, consumers can never figure out what the heck is going on with airfares anyway. By the time you’ve compared, added in the taxes and surcharges, you’ve lost the seat anyway. So 25% off across the board sounds good to me. Although it doesn’t sound quite as musical as the constant throbbing of a well blown vulvazela – but then, what does?


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