Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

I'm Ready For My Close-Up

Norwegian Cruise Line has invited me to their Summer Blockbuster opening, Pumpkins. It makes up for the snubbing I received from Cannes this year. Apparently I’m banned from the city. After the way I threw myself at Carla Bruni’s flats and forced her feet into proper stilettos (So what if the man is short? Doesn’t mean she has to submit to Shirley Temple footwear), the Sarkozys are considering a full country ban.

Never mind. NCL has my back. If I can wear my pink marabou and biker leather piece to the premiere, they can have the rest of me too. One of their fab Blockuster deals lets 3 to 4 ‘other’ guests sharing the same stateroom pay as little as $99 each. And, they can be any age. Bonus. Because with my youthful appearance, no one would believe my entourage are my children. You know how hauling along a masseur, a coiffeur and a personal valet can add up. So having us all in one stateroom will really save on expenses. Not to mention the efficiencies of having them all work on me at the same time. Come to think of it, dear Derk does look a bit like a twelve year old girl. Too bad the Kids Free Soda ends on the 16th.

Well, I’m off! See you all on the Epic. Klaus, dahrling, I’m ready for my close-up.

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