Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Now That's Skating

The gliding! The jumping! The swerving! No – I’m not talking about Virtue & Moir’s gold medal ice dancing – I’m referring to an even better performance: the phone call from RIU to Thomas Cook. “Honest, this hurts us more than it hurts you. You’ll grow from the experienceâ€.

Boy, have I heard that before. The last time, I stuck an olive pick up the guy’s nose. Believe me, Pumpkins, it did hurt him more than it hurt me. (Do not try this at home, tennis pros are bleeders.)

In any case, it’s not like there aren’t enough beds out there for all the operators to make. Is there a stretch of beach left in the whole Caribbean without an all-you-can-eat buffet on it? And, about “branding†– next time you’re at the airport, ask some random sun seeker whether he knows who they booked with; who they are flying; and what property they are staying at. Nine times out of ten, you’ll get: “Duh, uh, my wife booked it. It was cheap.â€

Go Canada, Go!

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