Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Ou Est Le Club Med Haiti?

What’s the DR got that Haiti hasn’t got? Call me crazy, but you got yourself this island in the Caribbean called Hispaniola, and you got yourself beaches and warm ocean currents and some fish – all of which us northerners are more than happy to dish out good money for – yet 1/3 of it is starving and dying under rubble, while the other 2/3 are flying in thousands of tourists and busing them to pina colada Shangri-Las. Que pasa?

OK, there’s bad blood between the two countries. That’s what happens with close relatives. But what I don’t get is, after draining the DR of its natural resources, the Spaniards discovered another gold mine there: tourism. And they built hotels and resorts. Why didn’t the French do the same with Haiti? They never should have let those two doctors mess everything up. That Papa and Baby Doc gutted the place. We could be booking the PIU Paradis, or Le Berceau Bravo or the Sol Meilleur, with cappuccinos by the piscine, sipping on vrais champagne a la plage, with managers called Pierre and Jean-Jacques. It won’t be long now – they’re coming. The industry abhors an empty beach.

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