Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

It's January. Blah.

We are in the bowels of winter, Pumpkins, and I’m bored. I keep tweeting my twit, but it doesn’t help. It is like so January around here. Thank God it’s almost over.

My craft – not to mention my vessel – thrives on stimulation. Scandals. Stupidity. Blunders. And everyone is playing all nicey nowadays.

Back in the day you could count on Air Canada at almost any time of year. I could peak for weeks on just one indignation. You know what Pumpkins, their whole ‘caring’ thing is annoying, that’s what. Agents are important, customers are important, staff are accessible, they pay commission, Duncan Dee is all over the news single-handedly rescuing Haiti. Who do they think they are? WestJet?

This is very confusing. I like having all my ‘guys’ lined up – good guys, bad guys, underdog guys, corporate guys, rich guys, guys with really fast cars and mahogany stick shifts who sweat just a bit on the tennis court – enough so you can see through their white T down to their well-toned core. Hmmm … I’m starting to feel better.

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