December 22, 2009
Excuse me, dahrlings, but…
Oh Just Shut Up
Iâ€™m developing a PR phobia. My e-mail now sounds an alarm instead of a little ping when one of those demanding little parcels plunks its self-absorbed self into my inbox. Press releases are so vain. Letâ€™s talk about me for a change! (All the really juicy stuff doesnâ€™t come with a cutesy subject line anyway. Itâ€™s usually a boozy bit of gossip slipped into my ear when I least expect it.)
There was that ballsy release from Robbieâ€™s oneâ€“man printing press about an idea for a direct-to-consumer venture. It moved the hallowed Financial Post into a deep head-scratching analysis over repercussions of his using Jazz aircraft. Apparently there is no agreement with Jazz. There may have been light conversation â€“ but nothing to scat about.
The worst possible insult is when your fabulous idea â€“ molded into a mildly ecstatic release â€“ is ignored. Those are the times when I would ask myself: did I use too many adjectives?
What we really need are hourly press releases about Moi! Iâ€™m endlessly fascinating. Always have an idea or two about stuff. No false pretense over here â€“ unless you count the slight augmentation and some general lifting (mostly around the eyes) â€“ and Iâ€™m not selling anything you need to know about!