Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Your Germs Are Not Cute

As much as I enjoy physicality of all ilks, at this juncture, dahrlings, keep your paws to yourselves. No hand shaking, kissing, hugging, rubbing, or fluid exchange of any sort is in order. Too many of us tend to congregate too often and we must be vigilant. We’re like walruses, really. All huddled together on a rock, bellowing and snorting at one another. Very social – and love shellfish.


Here is my advice for social encounters. Smile and wave vigorously when greeting colleagues. If you feel particularly fond of someone and wish to communicate sincere enthusiasm, you can also touch yourself. This will be understood as an expression of genuine warmth and caring. Now, I have noted that some of you lean towards the “gentle squeeze of the buttocks” greeting. This

probably wouldn’t transmit germs – but it generally leads to more touching, so I wouldn’t advise it.


I have witnessed unnamed Pumpkins shake hands and in the same breath divulge that they are running a fever. People, what is it about the flu you don’t get?


If you’re sick, stay home – you’re infecting potential travellers. We need all the healthy ones we can get.

On a healthier note, the British Bond of travel is finally rejoining our ranks, Pumpkins. Mottershead, Chris Mottershead, will be with
TUI/First Choice/Signature and whatever other incarnations await, as of January 1st. In the meantime, I’m certain there will be sightings about town, what with the snogging season just around the corner.


Apparently he will have something to do with an “enlarged Canadian venture”. Well, of course he will, dahrlings. He does have a license for it.


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