Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

It's Got Size & It's Got Motion

In principle, I am not against size, Pumpkins. In fact, when it comes to diamonds, bank accounts and certain members, I encourage it. Beyond that, things can get a bit tacky. With hair, platform shoes or gold brocade — one can overdo it. Dare I say it, even a diamond can look like it’s trying too hard.

Not so with ships. For some, a ginormous ship spells: Oh! Eh! Bliss! Royal Caribbean’s Oasis is so large, it could probably even accommodate a travel journalist’s ego. A total of 5,400 people will be spread over 16 decks and floated out to sea. Oh joy. There’s a full size carousel, a replica of Central Park and a bloody ingenious bar which facilitates getting high by rising up three decks as you tipple. There’s an aqua theatre, a full sports zone, shopping & dining galore – in short, an orgy of cruising delights for the masses.

I don’t know why we don’t just put little fins on an island and drag it around the Caribbean.

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