Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

They're After Our Boys!

It started out innocently enough with a little mouse. And it grew into a bevy of princesses and sundry other vestal virgins imprisoned in castles in multi-million dollar theme parks, movies, music, cartoons, and, a chaste boy band — all to control our girls’ minds. Now Disney is after the boys.

Disney has bought Marvel Comics – that sanctum of male heroic fantasy. They openly admit what they are up to. The Globe’s headline today reads: “Disney hopes to win over boys with Marvel magic.â€

Disney being Disney, they won’t be able to help themselves and before you know it, our heroes will be scrubbed clean. No more upside down spidey Frenching. Baby xmen will be tossed into happy meals. All the superheroes will be turned into eunuchs. A merry band of castrati squealing like schoolgirls as they descend into the evil one’s lair. What kind example is that for our growing men? They need to know a superhero fights like the dickens all day and plucks all the chickens at night. Ironman is no virgin, dear Pumpkins.

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