Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Go Tweet Yourself

A dapper young man at a recent function leaned in close and said “Do you tweet?†Well. I excitedly flipped through my mental Mae West riposte library, preparing for some hot repartee, when it struck me he was talking about Twitter. Young people really are so boring these days. It’s all about Bing banging Google, and who tweets best, and being plugged into 4 different electronic messaging systems at once.

There is something really sick about all this. People! It’s a computer! When I was their age we didn’t have time for such unnatural deviances. We were too busy boinking like rabbits. We had real human to human contact. Talked to each other face to face, not Facebook. And frankly, I got all the information I needed, thank you very much.

For all you avid Tweeters out there – if you are following your hundred or so fellow twits, then you must spend hours upon hours every day weeding through more garbage than Toronto can stack during a city strike. Great fun. I finally told the guy to go tweet himself.

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